Confidence is the Real Currency of Success

September 25, 2012

You can not succeed until you posses the confidence to succeed. You must believe in yourself. (Yes I know that sounds cliché but it is true.)

You need the confidence to sign up. You need the confidence to drive yourself to prepare. You must have the confidence to believe that you can win. You must have the confidence to compete when family and friends doubt you. You must have the confidence to believe that you belong in the room with the other contenders. You must have the confidence to fail and get up again. You must have the confidence to work past the pain that screams stop.

Business, sports, or even social venues the same analogies apply.

Just think of all the scary things you would attempt if only you believed that you would succeed.

If you want to succeed, you need to find more confidence.

What can you do to feel more confident?

First, give yourself permission to have doubts. That is normal. A person who has no self doubts might be insane. But, your clients and competitors don’t need to hear your inner voice.

Second, give yourself permission to strut even when you might not feel that confident. If you look confident – people will believe you are confident and treat you accordingly.

Third, build small wins that make you feel good. Keep a record of those successes to boost your confidence because confidence builds on confidence. You don’t go from zero to 100 in one step. It’s a series of steps and wins over time that build your confidence.

Fourth, be willing to fail. Don’t bet the farm on long shots. Instead take small risks that test your abilities as compared to the competition. Enjoy the wins and learn from the failures. The failures also prepare you for the uncertainty of long term success. You need the failures to teach you to heal quickly.

I believe that your realistic appreciation of failure can be your biggest boost to self confidence.

The more self confidence that you feel the more you will push yourself. The result of that will be two things – more failures and more success.

If you are willing to live with that mix of results the better for you.


Superman is a Lousy Role Model

September 18, 2011

Superman is not a good exampleIf you had to pick a superhero as a role model who would you choose?

If you chose Superman you might be setting yourself up for failure and tremendous disappointment.

Why might you be tempted to choose Superman as your idol? Well, he is perfect. He is all-powerful, all knowing, always wins and always does the right thing. If that is your standard you will always feel inadequate. How can you hope to compare?

Superman is the strongest guy on the planet – maybe even this side of the galaxy. Comparing yourself to Superman is like comparing your net worth to Bill Gates and wondering where you went wrong. It is just not worth the pain.

Superman is invulnerable. Nothing, with the exception of the rare element, Kryptonite can hurt him. It’s not fair. All kinds of things can hurt the rest of us. And I’m not just talking about bullets, bombs and missiles. Falling down the stairs can put you in traction for weeks. Fender benders can send us to the hospital. My buddy is allergic to bee stings. Even peanut allergies can kill some people.

Superman never gets sick. No common cold for him. He wears glasses in his secret identity as ClarkKent. But he doesn’t need them. He’s never had the mumps or measles. No embarrassing pimples for Superboy. You will never hear of Superman suffering from diabetes or cancer. It’s just not fair.

Superman can fly. I wish I could fly. But flying scares the heck out of me. I’m not sure how I would handle it. Again I lose. Damm that Superman.

Superman can see through things with his x-ray vision. Just imagine how that power might have helped you write your school exams or avoid buying that lemon of a car.

Superman has super hearing. If you could hear what other people are saying you would know the right price to offer, the magic words to say and the perfect card to play.

Superman has incredible endurance. The guy doesn’t tire. He can fly around the world or run around the world within minutes. I remember how many hours it took and how much it hurt to run my marathon. It’s just not fair.

Superman has a few enemies and some people who hate him. But he knows who they are and he is capable of dealing with them – physically, mentally and emotionally. My enemies are few, and people who hate me are few – but many people who don’t even know me seem to be out to destroy me mostly through their ignorance. I am powerless to ferret them out. And when I discover them they don’t seem to tremble at my might. Not fair.

The Fortress of Solitude. I want one. How do I get one? And what realty taxes does Superman pay for that prime real estate?

How did Superman become super? Easy. He was born on another planet.

What kind of message is that to send to our children? You could be perfect if only you were born on another planet. You were born on Earth so you don’t have a chance at greatness. Talk about being born with a platinum spoon in your mouth – like Ken Thompson or Donald Trump. Sure they both made some millions – they both started with millions. I know people who started with nothing and still have nothing. That makes them even.

So is Superman a real hero? No, he is a fantasy. I love Superman – the imaginary hero. But he is not my role model. I know better.

Superman is too perfect. Superman is too close to – dare I say – God. How can you model yourself against God? The Greek, Roman and Norse gods showed human flaws. It’s a lot easier to identify with them than with Superman.

Superman is a wonderful comic book superhero but a lousy role model. I think that Batman is the better “superhero” to choose as your role model. He has no god-given powers, only discipline, determination and skills.  He turned a tragedy into his good-doing. That is a true hero and a better role model.

When you are looking for superhero inspiration, look to Batman instead of Superman.

© George Torok has no super powers. He is a professional speaker who was a shy student. He learned, developed and honed his presentation skills to superior ability. He coaches and trains business leaders to deliver million dollar presentations. Visit http://www.Torok.com to learn about his programs.  Call 905-335-1997 to arrange a speech or training program.


Confidence – Magic?

June 27, 2011

Confidence

 

Confidence is the currency of success. Like money – the more you have the more you get. Unlike money, you can’t borrow, trade or steal it.

 

Confidence is at the DNA level of every successful person. Yet, they can’t explain, share or give it away.

 

Confidence is a powerful asset. But it can’t be measured, catalogued or repossessed. It’s intangible.

 

Confidence is in the mind of the individual. No one else knows your confidence nor can they take it away from you.

 

Confidence is not perpetual. We often doubt ourselves. Our confidence can jump up and down throughout our day. That’s normal.

 

Confidence is internal. We can’t control that. Others judge us on the external. We can control that.

 

Confidence can’t be seen yet we know when we see a person with confidence.

 

Success is less about luck and more about confidence because that drives persistence.

 

Confidence is the willingness to try again after failure.

Confidence is the power to more forward when the way is not clear.

Confidence is the ability to move past fears.

 


Stop Trying To Be Perfect

April 19, 2011

It’s a waste of time and repeatedly frustrating because you will never achieve that goal. You will never be perfect. It’s not your fault. It’s just not possible. Instead strive to be better. Set a series of achievable steps. That will reward you with an ongoing stream of successes. They might only be small successes but even a small success is better than failure after failure.

Some say that Edison failed ten thousand times before he invented the light bulb. My guess is that he viewed each experiment a success because he eliminated another false possibility.

Success encourages your confidence. Small successes generate the desire to reach out again and be better.

Real life is not a report card. It’s not about getting A or 100 percent because those yardsticks are not measures of real success. That’s just school stuff.

Instead of chasing perfection, chase one small success after another. That’s more practical and rewarding.

I know many successful people but no one that’s perfect. Successful people get comfortable with imperfection. They focus on success.

George Torok

Motivational Business Speaker

Host of Radio Show, Business in Motion


Confidence: Did you see it?

October 20, 2010

Confidence is the currency of success. Like money – the more you have the more you get. Unlike money, you can’t borrow, trade or steal it.

Confidence is at the DNA level of every successful person. Yet, they can’t explain, share or give it away.

Confidence is a powerful asset. But it can’t be measured, catalogued or repossessed. It’s intangible.

Confidence is in the mind of the individual. No one else knows your confidence nor can they take it away from you.

Confidence is not perpetual. We often doubt ourselves. Our confidence can jump up and down throughout our day. That’s normal.

Confidence is internal. We can’t control that. Others judge us on the external. We can control that.

Confidence can’t be seen yet we know when we see a person with confidence.

Success is less about luck and more about confidence because that drives persistence.

George Torok

Motivational Business Speaker


Superman a Bad Role Model

September 8, 2010

Don’t try to model yourself after Superman. He is super – and you are not. Superman was born powerful – and you were not. Superman is near perfect and you are probably not. Superman has only one weakness – one issue – Kryptonite. How many issues do you have?

Don’t try to be like Superman. It is an easy trap to fall into. It is a no win situation. You would never measure up. All he had to do was to arrive on earth as a baby through no effort on his own and instantly he was super.

Batman – a Better Role Model

Batman is a better role model. Why? Because, he is more realistic. Batman is human with human weaknesses, fears and faults. He has suffered the range of physical and emotional pains. At one point his back was broken by a powerful foe – and still he struggled to fight his way back as the protector of Gotham City.

Batman has no innate super powers. He is what he is because of his knowledge, dedication and training. Batman developed his skills.

Success
Both Superman and Batman are comic book heroes. However we can learn from them.

Our real life heroes are more like Batman than like Superman. Real heroes are the underdogs. Regardless of their circumstance they overcome obstacles through learning, persistence and creativity.

Success comes not from divine birth. It comes from vision, effort and skill development. Be prepared to deal with the odd joker who challenges your mission.

George Torok

Canadian Motivational Speaker

Canadian Business Speaker


Who Owes You?

August 26, 2010

Do you have a list (mental or written) of people who owe you?

When something good happened did you respond with “That’s about time.”?

Do you have hopes and dreams that depend on someone else doing things?

When asked about the status of your current project do you respond with, “I’m waiting to hear back from…”?

Are you waiting for your phone to ring?

Do you believe that the world owes you one?

If you answered yes to any of the above then you have a problem – and no one can help you except you.

The first thing that you need to accept is that no one owes you anything. No government, company, organization, friend or family member owes you anything.

The only one who owes you is you.

You owe yourself to get off your duff and do something to get what you want. And when it doesn’t work the first few times, you owe yourself to try again – and again – until you get what you want.

Who owes you? Only you!

George Torok

Motivational Business Speaker